I’m 5ft 3inches tall and a size 10. I generally go from feeling slim and ok to feeling completely gross and overweight. These feelings very much depend on my mood and often revolve around what I’ve eaten in comparison to how lazy I’ve been.
I have days where my diet is excellent and other days where you’d swear I thought shopping in Iceland and subsisting on crisps and wine was a worthy life goal. I am nothing if not consistently inconsistent.
I’m my own worst enemy and the fighting that goes on between my head and my body often makes me wonder if I have a split personality. I WANT to work out and be all slim and fit in all my clothes, but I also want to sit on my backside, drinking wine and eating ALL the snacks. Fat, lazy snack girl is stronger than thin, motivated, healthy eating girl. She sometimes squishes TMHEG so badly, she can’t get up for actual days.
This is an excerpt of the conversation between my brain and my body every time I consider working out:
Brain: it’s going to be a long day. Pack your running gear in the car, get changed in the office and head for a jog before you get home. You are, after all, a lazy cow and once you unlock that front door, we both know you ain’t doing no exercise.
Body: (in morning): Yaaaas! Get through the day, run off the stress with a good run to your favourite tunes and then collapse on the sofa for a well deserved rest! Excellent: let’s DO this!
Body (at 3pm): *yawning* I’m so sleepy, work is crazy today. Wait, is that a headache I feel?? Where is that pain coming from? Is it my back? Should I be resting?
Body (at 4pm): pain seems to have gone, but it’s raining now. No one can run in the rain…. You don’t want to catch a cold. And besides, it still is kinda dark around 5:30pm and you’ll have to run on the road and stuff.
Body (at 5pm): Go home and exercise on the fixie tonight and then pick up your running tomorrow. What difference does it make? You’re still working out, plus you won’t get drenched or worry about fading light or cars mowing you down. Get home, get changed and get on that bike!
Body (6pm): *lying on couch in front of Making a Murderer*.
Repeat until Thursday night.
Brain (11am): you lazy, lazy bitch. WTAF is wrong with you that you can’t even find half an hour a day to run 3 measly little miles?? You’re a disgrace. No wonder you’re fat! You eat like a horse and sit around, blogging all night and behind a desk all day. What did you expect??
Body (3pm:): OK, let’s make up for the failings of the week by starting the weekend off right! It’s 30 mins, it’ll make me feel great and you will absolutely look all glamorous and fit, like Clarice Starling in the opening scenes of The Silence of the Lambs.
Body (6pm): *lying on couch searching Netflix for The Silence of the Lambs*
Brain: OK, it’s nearly a new week! Let’s do it right next week and you’ll feel SOOOO much better for it.
Body: *goes back to bed*
Am I the only person that has these crazy internal conversations??